Saturday 27 February 2010

The 35mm film.

On the daily drone, she is deep in thought about how bad the day is going to be. Work used to fun and spontaneous, now it's nothing short of a brain solvent. It sucks the life and soul out of her and she knows that when she enters happy, she
will exit incredibly depressed and pissed off. She loves the extra money though so she won't give it up until necessary.

But today, she went in dead and came out alive. Her one colleague always seemed to conjure up magnifcently brain stimulating conversations and she can't help but feel her argument trump his. 'If you found the vaccine for AIDS, would you release it or make money?'. Such a flawed question, she simply couldn't understand how he could not see.

Talking about visual impairment, her other colleague was blind. no doubt about it. With a boyfriend who was exactly the opposite, she could not imagine why the lovely girl next to her would fall for such an asshole. Dependency? Perhaps the feminist she spoke to yesterday was correct!

Our main character sees herself as independent you see, she only required herself and everyone else was....irrevelent. Perhaps that was one of those pessimistic protective mechanisms. It didn't matter. It helped her. In her mind no one would be forgiven or forgotten no matter what grade the betrayal was. No one. It would be a battle of the heart and the brain. And the heart would always win. She didn't need any one. She was the lone wolf. 'Self sufficiency!' she exclaimed. Grudges was one of her worst characteristics. But she knows. This was why, several years ago she decided never to share her private life with her friends, family or aquaintances. Anonymity was one of her favourite words. She realised she could not trust anyone, and she came to see this as a benefit. Because you simply could not end a friendship over a betrayal of which there was no material to betray with in the first place. It was simple. Effective.

If the world kept its big mouth shut, many friendships would still exist. But gossip would vanish. We couldn't have that now, could we?

As she takes the drone home, she feels good. She is comtemplating a hair trim when she gets home. Standing at the platform was a cute guy, she fluttered her eyelashes and pretended to look hard to get. Fail. That was that.

She will be attending church the next morning, for some reason! And then heading to a university fashion show. She was in no way religious! She was a scientist and she knew that a religious scientist was most definately an oxymoron.

'Is your religion christianity?' she asked. 'no' he said. 'christianity is not a religion its a way of life'. 'What a stupid comment' she thought.












The Heart and the Brain.


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